Quiet Confidence Is Attractive. Why is it Attractive?
John Baldoni, in a recent Harvard Business Review blog post, “How to Lead Without Saying a Word," states, “When the fur is flying, what gets people’s attention is quiet confidence.” This is a subtle description of why quiet confidence is attractive.
What Is Quiet Confidence
Quiet Confidence Meaning — Quiet confidence can be defined as unadulterated trust, belief, assuredness, and keen awareness of oneself without the need for excessive promotion. In other words, self-confidence is the opposite of the inferiority complex—a feeling of doubt or subjectiveness.
Quiet confidence can also be referred to as silent confidence or having a quiet ego.
Thus, in this article, we are going to consider some basic traits of quiet confidence, its effectiveness, and why quiet confidence is attractive.
Due to how effective quiet confidence is in
building individuals personality, it attracts attention as such persons are considered as those who knows what to do and how to achieve their goals without making a huge fuss about it.
However, quite confidence shouldn't be mistaken for uncompromising, egoistic, loud, and ignorance— that is, arrogance.
You have a quiet confidence that helps you deal with even the moodiest of people and get your plans working. —The Sun (2009)
Some of the Basic Traits Of Quiet Confidence
Humility is one of the foremost perceived traits of quiet confidence. Although, from a general view, most people consider those who are humble to be less confident, This has, however, proven to be the opposite. People with quiet confidence are proven to have high self-esteem and self-worth, such that they prefer not to brag. Such individuals with quiet confidence would rather speak through their actions than words.
Also, your reactions towards compliments could also depict your trait of quiet confidence.
- Learn to accept your mistakes.
Avoid confining yourself to the act of running away from your mistakes, be it big or small.
Generally, all human are infallible, we make mistakes and thus, it
becomes our responsibility to own and correct them. Doing this doesn't actually make us less human, or less confident.
Thus, one of the best ways to earn respect and build confidence is by going over this bridge.
This can be comprehensively denoted from the quote of Larry King which goes thus:
"I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening."
―Larry King
Listening is not restricted to the sole purpose of response. It's also the most effective way of learning, understanding others opinions, and making use of them.You shouldn't listen to arguments. There is confidence in being patient enough to listen to what the other person is saying. Thus, speak only when you think that your point will make a difference.
To develop and maintain quiet confidence, get into the habit of listening to and understanding others.
- Quiet confidence is also exhibited by looking others in the eyes while speaking.
This is a theory that has been proven over time and, thus, a trait that is often found in those with confidence.
Thus, looking the other person in the eyes while talking shows that you're comfortable and at ease with yourself and others. And this depicts self-assurance or reliance. Practiced eye contact could help you become less anxious and more confident while interacting with others.
- Accustom yourself with the trait of being contented and peaceful with yourself.
This is another trait of quiet confidence that brings a sense of calmness and peacefulness. People who are secure and confident in their abilities are easily motivated and peaceful within themselves. Such traits can be exhibited through interactions, relationships, etc. Such people are able to at least gain control of their environment. To maintain your inner peace, you can learn to meditate, enjoy and spend more time in nature, write down your thoughts in journals, and learn to enjoy the flow of your environment.
"Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be."
—Wayne W. Dye
- Be aware of your emotions.
A person with quiet confidence is often aware of their emotions and their impacts to others. This you can learn by voicing your opinions without disrespecting others. Having the quality to respect others opinion shows that you have a lot of belief and trust in yourself. This equally produce good relationship among others.
Thus, being quiet confident does not mean being arrogant or egoist in a way that shows dominance.
- Have a sense of self-awareness
Know your strengths and your weaknesses, the ability to adapt to situations and make productive use of them. It also takes quiet confidence for someone to not feel insecure or think highly of themselves. Thus, a person with quiet confidence won't need to compare themselves with others but rather accept that everyone has his or her own path in life.
Thus, this quality of quiet confidence shows that you don't need validation from others to know your worth.
In summary, as curled from Advisorpedia, you have “quiet confidence” when:
- You approach your role with an organized and focused “get it done now” sense of urgency, keeping everything as simple as possible
- You focus on the outcome, not just the tasks or “to do’s”
- You know how to evaluate risk
- You ignore negative feedback based solely upon negative opinions lacking any constructive alternatives
- You don’t worry about things you cannot control; you focus on what you can influence or direct and you stay in the moment
Benefits Of Quiet Confidence
1. People with quiet confidence are respected for who they are.
2. Those with quiet confidence possesses positive energy and this draws others closer to them.
3. It is easy to maintain relationship with quite confident people as it makes others feel comfortable around them.
4. It allows you to maintain your composure in tensed situations.
5. It shows your competence.
Attractiveness Of Quiet Confidence: Is Quiet Confidence Attractive?
Quite confident people exude an energy of self-awareness, self-assurance and strength which is attractive to others. Clearly, being quiet doesn't mean one is insecure or shy. It shows that you're convenient in your skin.
To give more descriptive example to answer the question, "is quiet confidence attractive?" Let us consider some experiments that can help you exhibit quiet confidence:
When you are confronted by someone in a tense situation which has the other person's responses emotionally elevated, just maintain your composure and use your subtle cues to communicate your point to the person.
1. Resist the temptation and the urge to respond in the same manner:
Don't raise your voice. This is because it is shown that people on the defensive and interferes with their ability to listen.
Thus, ensure you pay attention to your tone, pitch, tempo, posture and expression from your face and body. They should be in sync with what you're saying and shouldn't distract the listener.
3. Speak with conviction. Be direct and clear.
4. Lead with quiet confidence.
5. Use quiet confidence to remind people of your competence.
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